The other night, my father-in-law--who is from Sicily--told a story of how bananas in Sicily were very expensive because it is a tropical fruit. Buying a banana was a treat, and one that was relished because it obviously wasn't an everyday consumable for anyone who wasn't wealthy. So my father-in-law saved money every week in order to purchase a savory banana, so that he may enjoy the fruits of his labor.
Years later, when he moved to America, bananas were being sold on virtually every street corner, and for a fraction of a fraction of the cost in Sicily. They were sitting in bunches on carts, ready to be bought and enjoyed; only, my father-in-law didn't desire them so much anymore. The flavor became typical and plain, somehow.
Is there a moral to this story? Probably. But I'm not worried about it. I'm just going to play on the computer a little longer, then go eat a huge breakfast that I'll cook for myself in my kitchen loaded with electric appliances, watch some television on my plasma screen, maybe play some PS3 after that, and then drive to school in my own car to get whatever education I was going there for (I forget).
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Saturday, October 3, 2009
SKINNY IS THE NEW FAT
One thing American culture has absorbed better than any other around the world, is that you can never be too skinny. If you are skinny, it probably isn’t skinny enough. And if you are skinny enough, you probably don’t have enough bumpy muscles showing.
The starving people across the world who are featherweights in their own right, do not seem to understand the glamour that rides in tow with that small sacrifice. All they need to do is work out a little.
When I was working as a gravedigger, I had to bury a 21 year old girl who went jogging every day in layers of workout clothes during a Florida summer. That’s dedication. With her hard work, some super-duper pills, and understanding that nutritional sustenance is overrated, she was able to beautify herself to the extreme.
How’d she die?
Starving herself or something, but that’s not the point. She’s a martyr for beauty.
Women today understand that meat on the bones equals fat. And fat equals obese. There is no in-between, or levels of being overweight.
Ladies, if your ribs and spinal column aren’t visible, and you don’t have the abs of cobblestone, you’re not hot. Plain and simple. Men like their women built like little boys. I know how that must sound at first, but if you watch any amount of television, you’ll quickly learn that boy-builds and fake boobs are the way to look pretty. Otherwise, you’re ugly, and there’s nothing else you can do about it.
Guys, ask yourself, honestly, what is so sexy about a woman with soft, feminine flesh? Why would anyone want a woman with a cushy round ass and soft, thick thighs, when you can have them lean and tough like tanned jerky?
Little bellies? Ew! You can’t even see the ribs!
Personally, I prefer the smooth edges of woman’s tailbone to grab onto and rub. There’s nothing better than lying in bed naked with your partner, tracing the indentations of her ribs with your finger and caressing the concave of her pelvic bone. Kissing her gently on her thick, strong, pre-pubescent abdominal muscles.
I guess what I’m trying to say, ladies, is that all men are gay, but too macho to admit it. So we all pretend we like women. And if we have to pretend to like women, it’s best that you understand we want you as boyish as possible, so as to eliminate all traces of femininity in your physical stature.
Skinny is not skinny enough, trust me. Never you mind the self-esteem complexes and what not, that’s not what’s important; only losing all your weight and getting that handsome…I mean, beautiful boy build is what is important. Otherwise, no one will ever like you.
The starving people across the world who are featherweights in their own right, do not seem to understand the glamour that rides in tow with that small sacrifice. All they need to do is work out a little.
When I was working as a gravedigger, I had to bury a 21 year old girl who went jogging every day in layers of workout clothes during a Florida summer. That’s dedication. With her hard work, some super-duper pills, and understanding that nutritional sustenance is overrated, she was able to beautify herself to the extreme.
How’d she die?
Starving herself or something, but that’s not the point. She’s a martyr for beauty.
Women today understand that meat on the bones equals fat. And fat equals obese. There is no in-between, or levels of being overweight.
Ladies, if your ribs and spinal column aren’t visible, and you don’t have the abs of cobblestone, you’re not hot. Plain and simple. Men like their women built like little boys. I know how that must sound at first, but if you watch any amount of television, you’ll quickly learn that boy-builds and fake boobs are the way to look pretty. Otherwise, you’re ugly, and there’s nothing else you can do about it.
Guys, ask yourself, honestly, what is so sexy about a woman with soft, feminine flesh? Why would anyone want a woman with a cushy round ass and soft, thick thighs, when you can have them lean and tough like tanned jerky?
Little bellies? Ew! You can’t even see the ribs!
Personally, I prefer the smooth edges of woman’s tailbone to grab onto and rub. There’s nothing better than lying in bed naked with your partner, tracing the indentations of her ribs with your finger and caressing the concave of her pelvic bone. Kissing her gently on her thick, strong, pre-pubescent abdominal muscles.
I guess what I’m trying to say, ladies, is that all men are gay, but too macho to admit it. So we all pretend we like women. And if we have to pretend to like women, it’s best that you understand we want you as boyish as possible, so as to eliminate all traces of femininity in your physical stature.
Skinny is not skinny enough, trust me. Never you mind the self-esteem complexes and what not, that’s not what’s important; only losing all your weight and getting that handsome…I mean, beautiful boy build is what is important. Otherwise, no one will ever like you.
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